snide shopper humor

Kmart – If you want to stand in awe at how a store can have such overpriced merchandise, be in such bad condition, and be devoid of customers FOR YEARS, and still be open for business, shop here. It's worth going just for the entertainment factor. If you really want to do something WILD, write a personal check for your purchases. Pay with plastic and you have to answer a survey on a half-broken touch screen to complete the sale. Guess what the answers will be to a maddening forced survey. Bad as hell! :p Sometimes I shop there just for the museum-like experience and to say that I lived to tell about it.

Macy's – I can never find anything interesting in there. Try to use a coupon, and the exclusions are longer than a credit card user agreement. Chances of your coupon working, well, go win the lottery.

Walmart – no way you come and go with your dignity intact. The receipt inspection at the exit door is the final butt gig. The Walmart on the bad side of town is totally frightening. Surviving the checkout line is a brush with death.

Discount Tire – another dignity-stripping tire buying experience that saves just a few $$.

Best Buy – totally Amazon's showroom. Go there to look, then go home and order it from Amazon. Twice Best Buy has sold me used merchandise repackaged as new. It's OK to look, but really, don't buy it there. They also do the Walmart-buttgig receipt check. I got them back by returning a TV after the owner died. Don't ask. It was creepy but made me feel better. :devil:

Chick-fil-A – In a more serious vein, I can certainly tolerate and patronize a business with a religious founder and that is closed on Sunday as a result. In fact, I wish more places were closed on Sunday. I enjoy what it does to the pacing of the week. I was OK with the known qualities of the founder and the resulting moderate practices of the business. Closed on Sunday, and a poster on the wall mentioning the core principals of the business, all this is OK, especially since the product is so good. Then there was mission creep. I started to view the political influence and contributions of the business as hostile, then rather low-quality annoying religious music always playing in the lobby, then finally, multiple "God bless yous" coming across the counter and through the drive-thru speaker. It must have been a corporate directive. My comfort level has been exceeded, so I no longer go there.

Final honorable mention – some franchises that are owned by elderly retiree couples. They hate you for walking through the door because they were suckered by the parent company and every customer is now costing them money but they don't yet have the courage to close. It's not a question of if their entire retirement savings will evaporate, but how long it will take. It will never be a good customer experience in there. Obama, liberals, and/or homosexuality will somehow be to blame.

Shop at Target. Maybe the prices aren't rock bottom, but they're close, and it's nice in there.

10 responses to “snide shopper humor

  1. We have Walmart here – well, it's called Asda Walmart as they bought out Asda. My wife's ex-husband works there – this does not make the shopping experience any better!

  2. Wow, I learned something new about Chick-fil-A today, thanks :up: I wonder how serious they are about their motto

    To glorify God by being a faithful steward of all that is entrusted to us. To have a positive influence on all who come in contact with Chick-fil-A.

    ? Are their chickens well cared for?

  3. Originally posted by AleksOD:

    ? Are their chickens well cared for?

    I would suggest that if their chickens are dead, they are not well cared for, but I'm vegan, so of course I would say that. Originally posted by Morrissey:

    Meat is Murder.


  4. That's really sad about the elderly franchisees. Never occurred to me that this might be the case for some since my shopping venues are essentially limited to our Co-ops and Fred Meyer.I had the occasion to visit a Kmart recently. I remember Kmart's heyday when it was much more like Target is now. I always thought that Borders would be Kmart's salvation. Alas, they are gone, and many Kmarts are following, too.Macy's bought out the Bon Marche here. The Bon was okay, I suppose. I'm just not the department store type, though.Walmart is evil. I do not shop there. If I ever find myself there again, I want to take and distribute unionization literature so I can be banned from ever having to go back again. It would make a great story.I'll hold my tongue regarding Target, since that's your Happy PlaceTM. :p

  5. Originally posted by 0x29a:

    I would suggest that if their chickens are dead, they are not well cared for

    That is not exactly what I meant. I consider free-range, vegetarian fed chickens well cared for, as opposed to the industry standard (beakless chickens stuffed in overcrowded cages, fed with hormones and other things).

  6. OK, be it your way: non-cannibal diet with non-overcrowded living spaces with some "play time" outside. Does that work for you? 😛

  7. Originally posted by AleksOD:

    vegetarian fed chickens

    Ah, but chickens aren't naturally vegetarian. They eat bugs, worms, larvae, caterpillars, etc. Perhaps you mean cannibal fed. Also, in much the same way that "all natural" has no legal definition in the U.S., neither does free-range.Originally posted by AleksOD:

    That is not exactly what I meant.

    I know, I know. Sometimes I just can't keep my hands off the keyboard.

  8. Originally posted by AleksOD:

    OK, be it your way: non-cannibal diet with non-overcrowded living spaces with some "play time" outside. Does that work for you?

    LOL! That rocks. *hug* :jester:

  9. Does "free range" mean there is a little door to the outside that a chicken *could* use but not one ever has…on purpose?

  10. Oh, and Walmart. It's like there is some kind of human breakdown in there. People pushing, shoving, cutting in line, saving a space for friends. Stockers slamming boxes of merchandise on the floor and/or kicking them down the aisle.All that, then there's the receipt check at the door. If the checker is elderly, I'll put up with it. I like to stuff my receipts in my wallet right after purchase. I did that one time with a young receipt checker not 5 feet from me chatting with friends. I leisurely put my receipt in my wallet with him watching me. When I moved towards the door, *then* he broke from his friends and asked to see my receipt. I merely grunted "unt-uh" and walked out. I didn't even hear what was shouted at me as I left.It's really no big deal to have to produce a receipt, but it's the final insult to an already tedious experience. I hate it. I factor it in if I'm thinking about shopping there.It's fun to whine about shopping. 🙂

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