Barkeep if you want to be some help,
Take a bottle of Please Release Me off the shelf.
Let me open up my soul and pour the contents in,
Tonight my solitaire turns Into gin

Years ago when price scanning at store checkouts was coming about, the Kroger on West Market Street had a scanning guarantee. “If an item scans incorrectly, you will be refunded and receive one of the item free. Limit $20.” Something like that.

It was a tremendous guarantee, and I had the great fortune of being the recipient one time.

I can’t remember the item, but I bought something that was $10 and change, and it rang up $11 and change. I went right to customer service happy as I could be.

The store manager rolled his eyes as he opened the cash drawer and got out a dollar. Of course I said, “NUNT UHH!” and pointed to the signs hanging all over the store.

He made good on the guarantee. As little money as I had back then, it was a big deal. It didn’t take long for the chain to water that offer down.